Somehow, there has been this black hole of the space-time continuum or something that has sucked up my summer. I have 19 days. NINETEEN. days. Three weeks. You know how long three weeks is? Three weeks ago was Fourth of July. Say what?? That was yesterday! And here's the biggest problem. Next week, I'm with my mom again. So that week will, POOF!, disappear as well. I'm freaking. out. here. In three weeks I'm moving out. And as exciting as it is, I must admit, I'm terrified. My life is changing and from here on out... it'll never go back to where it was before. Not to mention, I don't have nearly the money that I need... or a job lined up for school. *Deep breath* Three weeks...
The Mind...
Sometimes I wonder when it was that I got like this. I wonder when it was that life began to take it's toll. When it was that I began to have these wounds and scars on my life. You never notice when it's happening. Now I look back, and I don't remember not being affected by the memories and the wondering. The problem is, it's not enough to say that I'll be better, that I won't think about it, or I won't let it affect me. Because it's never me. Yes, I think it... I talk about it... but something else always triggers it. And for that thought to go away, it has to be resolved. The opportunity for doubt has to be abolished. That, or medication has to take away the thoughts altogether... I'm willing. I just don't want to upset him anymore.
The Countdowns...
11 days until my best friends 18th birthday/my mom's birthday...
12 days until my one year anniversary!...
19 days until I move in...
24 days until classes start...
50 days until I become legal!
The Extras...
I hate the Best Buy Geek Squad for not fixing my laptop, for sending it out to be fixed, for saying it would be two weeks, and for it being more than three weeks now. *fumes*
My upcoming week looks like work, a day with the bestie, going through my stuff, and working on my scrapbook for Holden and me!
Updates to follow.
:) Peace.
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