Wednesday, July 27, 2011
When I finally get a moment to breathe.
I thought the summer was going to bring with it months of relaxation in the sun, time with my friends, and the break that I needed before going back to school. Instead it brought more unexpected and terrible surprises than I would want to experience in a year, much less a month. I have been going non-stop for the past month and a half. I've been taking care of my mom, my dad, working three jobs, and moving, all since June 14. And it's all finally slowing down now. One of my jobs went out of business, the other ended for the summer, and I'm all moved in. And while it's nice that things have started to calm down a little, I almost feel lost. I have no idea what to do with my days besides look for more jobs, which I desperately need to find. It's a catch-22. I can't enjoy my summer without money, but I can't enjoy my summer if I'm working either. I'm just caught in this web of worry and fear and not knowing how to find the right balance. I'm stuck here with the lifestyle that I know I want just out of my reach, and I don't know what more I can do to get there. I just wonder if it's me that's doing something wrong, or if the cards really are just stacked against me.