Saturday, November 20, 2010

The moment it all comes tumbling down...

I'm stretched too thin. I never make enough to make rent. I literally don't have enough hours in the day to do all of the studying I need to do. I put everything I have into everything I do, and I do a lot of things. I always do this. I have to fail horribly at only one thing, or be mediocre at all things. But being mediocre is not an option, I have to be perfect. I do all I can and I give everything I do the best effort I have, and it's still not enough. It's not good enough. I don't make enough. I upset people. I do things wrong, and those are the only things that matter. It piles up and up and up until I literally just break. I'll apologize, I'll take the blame, and I'll push myself even harder. And then I'll recover, and start all over.

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