Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The moment that perfection isn't even enough.
After all of this hard work, the stress, the tears, and the lack of sleep, I realize that even perfection isn't good enough. So yeah, it's my responsibility... it's because of the things that I've done that I'm even in this situation in the first place. But why am I going to be given the chance to redeem myself, if even perfection won't get me there? Why, even if I do the best that it is physically possible for me to do, am I still going to fall short? I know if I had just stepped up a little earlier, this wouldn't be a problem. But that's human nature, and human nature is coupled with the chance to grow and change. I've turned my life upside down. I've started completely new. And I've reached the top. I've done the best that I'm allowed to do, and I'm still going to be punished. And the worst part is, it's not about impressing anyone or living up to my own standards anymore. It's about surviving. Even if I make them proud, even if I am proud of myself... none of it matters. It doesn't mean that I'll make it.