Thursday, August 25, 2011

The moment life walks right up to you and smacks you in the face.

In approximately 8 months and 18 days, I will officially be a VCU alumnus. I will have a Bachelor's Degree. I will have graduated, from college.

This realization, to be honest, scares the living shit out of me. I'm not old enough to have a college degree. When did this happen? Where did the past few years of my life go? In my head, I'm still only 17, newly graduated from high school and still trying to figure this whole college, job, life thing out. I feel like an impostor, like I shouldn't have come this far yet.

And while it's scary as hell, I guess it's a little bit exciting, too. I've worked hard to get this far and hopefully this will open up a whole new world of opportunities for me. It's terrifying and stressful, having to think of GREs and grad school applications and full-time jobs and... the future. The real-live, grown-up world future. But if I really think about it, I realize that if I just have a little faith in myself, I can get myself to where I want to be. Looking back at the past few years, I see that I have come a very long way in a very short amount of time and that I have matured a great deal since I graduated. And I realize now that there's no use in being scared or worried, or just sitting around wondering how I'm going to make it work. The only way to get anywhere is to just put yourself out there and make your life what you want it to be. Because no one else knows what you want or what you need, and they surely aren't just going to walk up to you and hand it to you. You have to work for it. Take it. Earn it. Create your life, not just live it. And I think that is what this last year is going to help me to do. This is my turning point. This is the doorway that will open up to the long road that is the rest of my life. And I think, I hope, that maybe I'm finally ready to face it.


Amy Watlington said...

you're ready :)

Chelsea Laine said...

You are the most encouraging friend ever. :)